Team Friends Fantasy Football 2016 Season
| League | Team Friends Fantasy |
|---|---|
| Sport | NFL Fantasy Football |
| No. of teams | 12 |
| Duration | September 2016 – December 2016 |
| Regular-season start | Sep 8, 2016 |
| Playoffs start | December 2016 |
| Champion | Bobby (2nd) |
| 2015 | 2017 | |
Background
League format for the 2016 season remained the same. Pfeifer's team was reposessed after failing to pay league dues in 2015. Kujo was brought in as a replacement in 2016.
The strange, failed dual-kicker experiment was ended in 2016...lest we forget.
League dues were increased again, this time to $50 - increasing payouts for all categories.
Years after the 2016 season, Yahoo would go on to overhaul their message board system, clearing out any messages from old leagues. One shining example inexplicably remains of the league recaps most frequently authored by Z - The 2016 season recap:
Well well well. Here we stand (or sit, or kneel) at the end of another terrific, tumultuous, titillating and tantalizing regular season. I think I speak for everyone when I say that this has been the single most important season in our illustrious league's history, as is each and every year. \ There were games won on the final play of the game, games lost by 70 plus points, and a whole shit ton of games lost by Pat and Tony. Sorry guys.
That being said, we now enter the true most wonderful time of the year. Playoffs. Playoffs? Talking...playoffs? There are some juicy matchups coming which will separate the men from the other men, as well as the lady. But, if recent history has taught us anything, all it takes to defeat a strong woman is to talk a lot of shit and be super loud. Too soon? Nah, its fine. Before we move onto the playoff matchups and the teams involved, let's take a moment to reflect on the season of the teams who fell a bit short, just like what happens to everyone's dick following arousal.
12. Bad News Bears
More like Even Worse News Bears...amiright? Unfortunately, this year just didn't amount to a successful go of it for our law enforcement representative. It seems as though the Fantasy Football gods' favorite NWA song is "Fuck Tha Police." Despite having one of the most consistent QB performers each week in A A Ron Rodgers, there just wasn't enough of a supporting cast to give this team much of a chance to pull out many wins. Forte didn't reach his previous heights, Jeffery got himself suspended, and Willie Snead just has a stupid sounding name. All this, coupled with the most points against leaves this Italian Stallion being sent to the glue factory this season.
11. InTouch.org
For such a name, this team seemed rather out of touch with the whims and realities of effective players this year. The only thing they have been in touch with is the giant dick that has fucked them, week in and week out. After showing some signs of hope following a Week 8 win, The Touchers rattled off losses each week to close out the season. Scoring the least amount of points in the league won't help your case any either. Perhaps next year with fewer Browns players on the roster, this God fearing franchise can make it back to the promised land of the playoffs.
10. Harambe's Heroes
Much like this team's namesake, Harambe's Heroes have been dead for a while now. Sure, they gave it a shot, but couldn't quite get out of their enclosure before people higher up on the competitive ladder put them down. Despite having a roster with some big names, either injury (Gronk and the incredibly comfortable Jacuzzi Rodgers), inconsistency (Wilson) or having an animated pile of garbage for your quarterback (Hopkins) held this team back. Perhaps its karma for this team's manager, as he makes a living swindling dumb white people into buying ridiculous extension packages on their surround sound systems. But, then again, fuck those people for having disposable income when I don't, so I guess it not that. Perhaps it was just too soon to be named after a national tragedy. I'd say go with The Great Depression Suicides next year.
9. KuTang-Clan
In his debut season with the Team Friends League, the Clan really showed us that they can in fact sometimes be fucked with. Finishing up with a 6-7 record after a strong push at season's end proved to be insufficient in the race for a playoff spot. Largely due to the second fewest points scored, this Rocky Mountain man could help his cause next year by bringing in one QB who is good, rather than three who would rather spend their days fucking around. All in all, still the best record west of the Mississippi.
8. Gurleys and Gore
Despite banging his way through the unsuspecting undergraduates of Florida, this squad couldn't penetrate the top six of this league. Perhaps he got fucked once or twice along the way, but in the end, he wasn't anal enough about starting the right people. Sex. Anyways, Drew Brees and ODB were the big names on this squad, and despite some strong performances throughout the year, they couldn't step up in Week 13 and pull it out. I'm sure this team's owner will find a way to cope with this misfortune while the rest of us slowly die under a mountain of snow.
7. MoneyindaBananastand
Apparently, not enough money was in the banana stand this year. As the Beatles say "I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me a spot in the playoffs." The large plantains missed out on a playoff spot thanks to the middling Trevor division, coupled with just falling short on point totals. The likes of skinny Matthew Stafford, Ezekiel "Eliteration" Elliott and Jay Ajayi kept these hopes alive until the bitter end, but just wasn't enough. After leading the division for a time, the wheels on the bus went "nah nah nah" and came off, losing a couple big ones down the stretch. With a wedding to plan and a long list of lawyer jokes to hear, this sudden excess of time may be for the best.
6. Little Stevie Lepos
The Tiny Ron Jeepos have managed to make their mother and her fucking sweet knockers proud. By getting some strong performances from the French/Irish LeSean McCoy and a pair of non steer herding Cowboys, this greasy haired pizza tosser has managed to put himself in a position to make some waves in the playoffs. With some big performances lying waiting in the chamber, he may yet come out on top. This is also the only instance where if someone chokes it is still okay, since we all know he's into that sort of thing.
5. I Want Nor-wood
With the most Buffalo-heavy innuendo in the league, this team was a bit unlucky to find themselves in the first round of the playoffs. Due to the lopsided divisions, the Woodies nearly got that coveted first round bye, but two losses to finish the regular season left them facing the ninja warrior-esque task of rolling off three wins for the championship. Yet, it can be done, and not just because the team owner is the only one who went to a college that is any good at football (sorry Lil Billies). With Ben "I Sexually Assault Women" Roethlisberger, David Johnson and a handful of capable receivers, I Want Nor-wood may end up victorious.
4. Lil Billies
The Small Williams surprised us all by not whining like a little bitch about how shitty his life is and thus far refraining from suicide. But, I digress. With the insider knowledge from hanging with Terry and Kim all the time, he was able to parlay his tips into a quietly productive season. While notching up the third most wins in the league this season, the Jimmies have struck a chord of fear into the hearts of opponents by using a mandolin. Because you can't strike a chord without an instrument, Karen, that's why. Christ, sometimes you're so dumb its like you're a fictional person made up for the purpose of this joke. A dangerous lineup that can put up 20 points from each main starter gives this guy a chance to go all the way, despite being a total Timmy.
3. Uterine Horns
Considering this man once handed police a fake ID and then switched it with the real one, this season has been a revelation of brilliance. Although certainly aided by the fewest points against (you son of a bitch,) the Horns can light it up with the best of them. Antonio "My Poop Is" Brown, some fucking white tight end for Tampa and the new Dante Hall in Kansas City all pose legitimate concerns for opposing managers in the coming weeks. Perhaps one way to slow down this train would be to find a penile horn to counteract the anatomy at hand.
2. Tyndale Special
With perhaps the most attractive, sexually virile and intellectual manager in the league, Tyndale Special had a roller coaster of a year. The perennial sexual maneuver team literally went back and forth with winning streaks and losing streaks throughout the year, causing no small amount of anxiety for the man in charge. However, thanks to a stalwart approach of laying on the couch and drinking champagne (of beers), the Specials managed to lock up the Trevor division on the last day of the regular season. Another interesting note is notching up the 2nd most points for (fucking Adam Vinatieri and that worthless fucking quarterback duo in New York, 2 FUCKING POINTS), as well as 2nd most points against, a feat which I don't believe has been seen before. If Kirk "I Look Like Your Super Religious Third Cousin" Cousins, Amari Cooper and Devonta "I'm Not A Slave I'm A" Freeman keep up their strong performances, a second title may be in the future of this illustrious franchise.
1. Game of Jones
What can be said about the king of autodraft? Despite what was initially thought to be a sub-par draft, this motherfucker goes on and wins all but one game during the regular season. What a shitbag. Anyways, huge point totals coupled with a few favorable matchup weeks has led to this spaghetti slurper/Mafioso/left turning champion securing the top spot entering the playoffs. The defending champion (and somehow highest point getter) faces the curse of the number one squad, in which the leading team going into the postseason has yet to emerge with the weird ass trophy that goes to the winner (if we even still have that). However, if Julio Jones, Mike Evans and that douchebag in New England show up in crunch time, the curse may in fact be broken.
Sorry I didn't get to put in cool pictures for this, I decided not to take any extra time and search for them. Don't like it? Well, then, please don't say anything negative about it, I have a very fragile ego.
Draft
2016 Draft Date: Wed August 31, 2016 8:30pm
The 2016 Draft was the first Live Online draft for TFFF. This was likely due to the league's geographic spreading as well as busy lives of 26 year olds.
The weird keeper rules were reinstated for 2016. Each team was allowed to keep 1 player, round 1 of the draft was used for keeper allocation.
2016 Draft BoardDraft Order
| Selection
Number |
Team | 2015 record |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Tyler | 4-9-0 |
| 2 | Katie | 6-7-0 |
| 3 | Lepo | 7-6-0 |
| 4 | Bobby | 3-10-0 |
| 5 | Z | 5-8-0 |
| 6 | Kujo | 6-7-0 |
| 7 | Dave | 9-4-0 |
| 8 | Josh | 7-6-0 |
| 9 | Tony | 7-6-0 |
| 10 | Pat | 7-6-0 |
| 11 | Sean | 8-5-0 |
| 12 | Boyce | 9-4-0 |
Standings
| Team | Owner | W-L-T | Div | PF | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| *1 | Lil Billies | Bobby | 8-5-0 | 5-2-0 | 1645.12 |
| *3 | Uterine Horns | Josh | 9-4-0 | 4-3-0 | 1595.70 |
| *4 | Game of jones | Boyce | 12-1-0 | 7-0-0 | 1670.76 |
| *5 | Little Stevie Lepos | Sean | 7-6-0 | 3-4-0 | 1622.42 |
| 10 | InTouch.org | Pat | 3-10-0 | 1-6-0 | 1329.76 |
| 11 | Harambe's Heroes | Tyler | 3-10-0 | 1-6-0 | 1426.34 |
| Team | Owner | W-L-T | Div | PF | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| *2 | Tyndale Special | Dave | 8-5-0 | 6-1-0 | 1668.70 |
| *6 | I Want Nor-Wood | Katie | 7-6-0 | 3-4-0 | 1621.08 |
| 7 | Bad News Bears | Tony | 2-11-0 | 0-7-0 | 1463.60 |
| 8 | MoneyindaBananastand | Z | 7-6-0 | 5-2-0 | 1604.78 |
| 9 | Gurleys and Gore | Lepo | 6-7-0 | 3-4-0 | 1563.12 |
| 12 | KuTang-Clan | Kujo | 6-7-0 | 4-3-0 | 1437.26 |
Playoffs
6 qualified for the 2016 playoffs. The top seed in each division (division record) were awarded 1st round byes. The remaining teams 4 teams were seeded by overall records.
Quarterfinals took place during NFL week 14, Semifinals took place during NFL week 15, Final and 3rd place games taking place during NFL week 16.
Awards
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Weekly Hi Scores |
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References
- Your Mom, yourmom.com, April 20, 1969.